Sunday, July 3, 2016

It's a woman's Brave

Being divorced or being single is different when you're in your forties than it is when you're in your twenties. When you're in your twenties you're lonely and sad you want someone to hangout with, you want to party.When you're in your forties you relish the peace and solitude of being alone, you don't have to come home and cook for anyone, you don't have to answer to anyone; you can finally relax and enjoy your life and get to know yourself. In your twenties this is almost virtually impossible you still don't even know who you are and you certainly don't want to take the time to "soul search" at this age. Mostly you just think about why you were dumped or why you divorced and then quickly move on to the next new relationship without much regard to why the last one failed. I can say this because that's what I did. It wasn't until my late 30's that I was more cautious as to whom I dated. I questioned everything, watched for red flags just to make sure I didn't end up in the same situation I did ten years prior. 

Now I've found peace with myself and what I want out of my life. I found in that process; the love of my life and I am content with myself and happy with my life finally and it only took me 39 years to get here! I am more apt to take risks, not put up with anyone's shit and leave a situation if I need to because I grew to be strong. I now know that I can do it on my own, that I don't "need" a man but I know that I want the one I have.This is the most invigorating feeling a woman can have, to know she can do it all on her own and survive. We are more sure of ourselves now than we were twenty or fifty years ago, it's a woman's world now.

Eleven years ago I was scared that I couldn't make it alone, so I jumped into a marriage that wasn't right for me but seemed to benefit us both at the time. Eventually the benefits wore off like so much cheap jewelry and all that was left was a tarnished mess, a remnant , a shadow of a marriage that was hollow. We had nothing in common and for the love of God I couldn't figure out why I ever did what I did, but it was too late. Leaving that marriage was the best thing for me and him and our children, because everyone suffers not just you. I was silly thinking that if I stayed it would be better for the kids. I felt I was being selfish to want happiness, but why? Did I not deserve love, affection, appreciation? Finally it was enough and I couldn't do it anymore and now here I am. peace. Ladies,leaving a bad relationship is almost the equivalent of a death. 
Yes, there will be loneliness, sadness, anger, guilt and finally peace. There is a type of mourning for it all, but in the end me you'll be better off for it.

I talked myself out of living for too many years, but now there's no holding me back. I am only moving forward and YOU can too. Don't be afraid, be brave...go ahead...I DARE YOU. ; )

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