Thursday, March 24, 2016

Divorce the final frontier

Today I finalized my divorce , it wasn't a walk in the park or anything but it felt good to close that chapter of my life. I also realized it was the right decision and I was never more sure of that than today. It started out with him texting me asking me when and where. I explained he needn't show it was all signed and agreed upon and it was a formality to just have the judge sign and date it. No, of course he had to say, but it's a momentous occasion and I wouldn't miss it for the world. -_-
He was going to be a DICK...awesome! (insert fake enthusiasm here)  I bite my lip give him the address yet again and be on my merry little way. I know what he wants , he wants a rise out of me. Why is the question? I mean I am giving him everything basically just to be able to walk away sane, well...sane enough.

We get to the courthouse and thank God my friend came with me for support. I also spot another friend that works there. She consoles me and says it will all be okay and to ignore him, welllll that is hard to do for me, it's just not in my DNA. I am an open mouth insert foot gal, but I was pretty good today mostly because I don't look good in orange jumpsuits and I like my makeup. So here we are waiting for the doors to open at 8am and here he strolls in...coffee in hand, me wanting to shove it in his smug little face. I bite my lip and think of unicorns and puppies....devouring him...i mean happy fluffy puppies! (Ahem) Anyway he strolls in all non chalant like and I don't even look his way. I won't give him the satisfaction today. GO FUCK YOURSELF   I think to myself and smile so big that the moon was envious. He's not getting to me today, these days are over and I have a bright future ahead of me now. We go in sit down and wait to  be called to court. As While we wait he proceeds to bitch at me about closing a joint credit card account we had together because of his inability to pay, or ignorance..whatever. I apologize but explain I had no choice and we were going to close it anyway eventually and yes I understand our credit took a ding, yeah yeah yeah. It's a divorce bub NEWS FLASH!! that happens. I explain to him that the beautiful gold wedding band I bought him can fetch a decent price if he were to sell it and he could pay it down some. He turns glares at me and say "You worry about you and I'll worry about me" I literally want to burst out laughing at this because not two days before I joked with my boyfriend about that statement. A little girl on YOUTUBE has a clip where she tells her dad "You worry bout you, YOU DRIVE!!!"

 She is so cute and hilarious I just want to start laughing in his face. He sounds like that 3 year old, bahahahaha, I then realize yes this 50 year old man is throwing a tantrum and I laugh internally. I'm over this and ready to move forward. I don't understand why he's being an ass when he has a girlfriend and has moved forward too? WTH hell man don't you want this to be over as well? This is almost over I say to myself and then they call us. We go up to the bench we answer some questions and the judge wasn't too impressed with his attitude either. He stamps it signs it and we're off! Yissssssss, I'm free!!!! I feel like this...
So then we leave the courtroom and I proceed to the bathroom where he then stays behind and then bashes my good name to my friend. My friend abruptly puts him in his place and sends him away where he gets his unhappy ass on an elevator and leaves my life forever. FIN 
THE END!

That 's all the time we have  for today's short story on divorce children...join us next week on how to get away with murder. :)







Monday, March 14, 2016

The side effects of living alone...but let's focus on the good shall we?


So here I am , sitting here typing away at this stone age contraption I call a computer. Why do I do this you ask? Well it's simple really, mostly...because there's not a damn thing left to do in this Godforsaken lonely house, apartment, home..whatever you call this dwelling I take up space in. I wouldn't really call it living, but more or less passing the time until I can figure out what I'm doing with my life. I've swept floors, vacuumed , done dishes, organized my bookshelves by size and author, went to the gym, watched tv. and now there is nothing left to do but write and as I do I sit here and drink a beer and smoke a cigarette. Yeah I said smoke a cigarette , by God it's my place and I do what the hell I want in it now. That actually is a perk of living alone but it's not exactly comforting.Someone encouraged me to write to distract myself I guess but I'm pretty sure he didn't mean like this. Oh well I sucked at direcetions my whole life why start doing it right now?


This is why I need to explore my life and what I want from it.It's time to try and focus on the good things since life has forced me to.So here's a quick checklist to not make this so sad.

1. I get to run around naked all day at home.

2. I don't have to cook for anyone unless I want to.

3. The King size bed I have is all mine.

4. I don't have to hear bullshit anymore.

5.  I can use the bathroom with the door open!

6. See # 1

Now I'm not gonna say I love it because I don't but I need to focus on the good things or I'll depress us all. LOL It's a shitty journey but I am not alone. I have friends that are going through this too and they can relate I'm sure and that's partly why I write this.You are not the only ones, don't be discouraged, I am here with you too. We are all in the same boat and as I sit here and write this I hear the sounds of apartmentdom, racoons in the trash, kids screaming, hammering on walls, cars honking, shitty city life and ya know what? This too shall pass.........