Sunday, February 21, 2016

Gym personalities that crack me up.

As you all know I am a gym fanatic and I have noticed a lot lately the different types of personalities that surround me. For instance the other day I encountered one of the many creatures I like to call

The Groaner

The groaner as I deem him is usually an attention seeker in my mind, he will strain so hard to pick up weights that are either too heavy or not enough and yell out in pain as if he is going to die. I find it both annoying and entertaining at the same time. The whole gym usually turns to see what the commotion is about and BAM he's achieved his goal.
Then there's the infamous chatter box or as I like to refer to as jaw time.

The Chatty Cathy/ Chad

They love to talk about exercise but never actually do it. They stand around others who are exercising and boast about how good they look and how much they've done though you actually never see them do much of anything except run their jaws so at least something is getting exercised besides their ego.
Which brings me too the boaster




The Boaster

This person is usually male and in love with themselves. Strutting around the gym like a Peacock flaunting their feathers or muscles and praising themselves. These people are so in love with themselves that it's almost impossible for another to love them, hence they are usually alone, although they will brag about how much ass they can get. Honey if you have to brag about it ,chances are you ain't getting it. ; )  That makes me think of the princess.

The Princess

This female goes around with her hair done and her makeup on, usually in the cardio section as she wouldn't want to break a nail on weights. She never breaks a sweat but merely walks the treadmill, feeling as if she's achieving something but only looking like a poser in my opinion. These girls irritate me as they are wasting valuable oxygen and space and are taking up my machines to appear health conscience.They also want to attract males and so I deem them ho's as well. I am here to excercise not date , move your ass princess and get on match.com like the rest of society. They are usually on their phone if they are in the weight room doing leg presses while talking. Sweetheart if you can talk and exercise you are not exercising , you are playing. Get off my machine before I beat you with that phone! Then there are girls like me, I deem myself the semi serious lifter.

The Semi Serious Lifter aka Half Asser

Well we like to lift but there are days we just don't care. We are not the strongest in the gym or most consistent but we do try and I even have to admit that I piss myself off when I don't push hard enough. I hate half assing it but I admit I do, although lately I am pushing myself more as I come out of this depression. We love our definition and the second we start losing it, we chastise ourselves and take our happy ass to the gym to gain back what we lost. We may not be consistent but we are thorough. Speaking of thorough ,that reminds me of....

The Gym Rats

These people are always here, as a matter of fact you could swear that they were on the staff they are there so  much. That used to be me when I was married and didn't want to go home my other home was at the gym. These people look fabulous usually and are dedicated to this life, they are serious and you can usually can learn a lot from them if you just friend them and pay attention. I have a lot of respect for these people and my goal is to be one again. I like it when people ask me for advice on exercise and I would love to teach those little teens to do something instead of playing on the phone.

The Tweenies

I like to refer to these kids as Tweenies because they are teenage weenies! They barely lift , talk on the phone, set around on the equipment and test mine and others patience. They take selfies as if they are doing something and disturb our routine and we want to choke them, we usually see them in the summer and spring trying to get in shape for breaks and  taking up space. If you encounter these individuals proceed to your favorite area and do not move as they will inhabit it and cling like a fungus to it all day, kinda like the newbies.


The Newbies

I'm sorry guys but seriously no one in the gym likes you at first. You are by nature the enemy in the beginning. We usually look at you like you are something to be broken so we can take back our machines and gym again. Our test is to push you either until you break or become one of us, it's a lot like a gang initiation. We see you all in the beginning of the year in your new outfits you got at Christmas and shiney shoes all hopped up and ready to go until about end of January and you slowly die off when you realise it's not as easy as the t.v. makes it look. They slowly start to realise that they will not be Jillian Michaels or Arnold and then they give up. Now there are those that push themselves and I was once one of them until they are a gym rat and dedicated. To these "newbies" WE SALUTE YOU! THIS IS THE GYM!

The Leerer 

This guy is a perv who invades Yoga classes and stares at asses and gazes at you from across the room. Avoid him at all costs. I have actually given up yoga because of this. He makes your skin crawl and also doesn't know when to go away. Sometimes I contemplate tasing him,but orange isn't my color so I just do my best to put my earbuds in and ignore him. I advise you to do the same.
Last but not least there are the dumbasses.

Crossfitters

These people are idiotic and crazy, they think that the crazier the exercise the better it is. They usually end up in the emergency room and are the source of entertainment at the gym, if you encounter such people please have your camera ready as you will want to capture that dumb ass moment to look back and laugh at.


Well I hope I don't dissuade you from going to the gym just go do your best and never give up, that's the key. Persistence pays off in the end people. With that being said HAPPY EXERCISING !





Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Random acts of kindness day should be called random acts of Assholes day

So as you all know today was random acts of kindness day although it was anything but. Today I was almost ran off the road, people were racing me, giving me dirty looks, and just flat out being rude. Today was an eye opener people should be kinder to one another but it seems lately our society is so stressed out that they've done anything but be kinder, they've actually been a lot shittier. I hope for your sake today that you open the door for someone, bought them a coffee, helped an old lady cross the street, or anything that would help me prove otherwise that humanity is dead in us. Is it still alive somewhere deep within within us? I am starting to lose faith in us as a society, we no longer do kind things for one another, we no longer hold doors open, carry peoples groceries for them unless we're paid, or help a needy family unless we receive credit for it. When you do something for someone it says in the Bible that you're supposed to give without credit which means you do it in silence you don't post it on Facebook ,you don't shout it out to the world "hey I did this I'm super special, I'm a kind person because I did a nice thing." You just continue to do nice things every day for people out of the kindness of your heart not just for one solitary day and certainly not for credit. Tonight I'll say a prayer that I wake up tomorrow and people will be kinder. Think about that tomorrow when you're on the road or at work.