Sunday, December 27, 2015

Although your heart is full it can still be sad

I was thinking today deeply about my life and what I have and what I want from it. I have been very fortunate to have a loving man in my life and loving family and friends who support me but I still ache. I ache for my father and grandfather and step mother who were always there to tell me it will all be ok. Although now I have Dean who I love more than he'll ever know and my step father who tell me at are there for me and it will be ok. It's not the same but it means just as much. I still find my mind wandering to my father this time of year though. He loves Christmas and it happened to be his birthday. I was recently given a cookbook of his from a long time ago and it made me happy and sad at the same time. It made me wonder how would he feel about me now. Would he still be proud of me and what I've done in life? Could he be proud? I am not very good at this life thing and that's why I'm grateful for people who tolerate me. He had to love me ,others are not so obligated and so I am appreciative of that. I am no sweet peach, I'm full of fire and piss and vinegar when needed and sometimes when not. So when you see that person you love kiss them...hold them and love them like there is no tomorrow. Because....there may not be.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

The Season of Perpetual Joy? Not all of life's gifts come wrapped in a box

Today was a horrible day and come to think of it yesterday was too! Oh hell this whole week has sucked, who am I kidding. It all started Monday when I called in sick to work and had to go to the Dr to get a shot and some antibiotics. I came down with some upper respiratory infection and needed meds fast. I got my meds and then left the Dr's office in a hurry to get home and in my haste I got pulled over. I was coughing my head off and clearly was sick , the officer didn't care. I explained the situation and I'm sure he's heard it all before but I was hoping that in his heart during this season that at least seeing me in the state I was in, would cut me some slack. No dice..nope wasn't happening, there was literally no way in hell he was gonna let me slide. I could have puked up blood and he would have wrote that ticket anyway. I signed for the ticket almost in tears because at this point I'm tired, sick and roided up. I started to drive off and he said feel better ..my tempered flaired! Feel better! I would have felt better if you didn't write me the fucking ticket! It made me wonder where his holiday spirit was. I would think at the holidays at least that he would have a little more compassion, but I suppose he had a quota to meet.

Then today I was delivery person and I was ran ragged. I was driving all over the DFW area and including delivering to the cemetery wreaths that were as big as myself. I was worn down by the end of the day and ready to be done with this day, as I was driving though I saw several homeless people and I thought to myself how blessed I am even when I am struggling because they are struggling more. It made me think that somehow , somewhere, we got lost along the way and Christmas became more about receiving than giving, more about gifts than love, more about materialism than sacrifice. What happened to our society? When did it fall apart and how did we let it get this far? We are all so wrapped up with our phones and clothes and social events that we do not stop and breath and take the time to see what a beautiful life we have and appreciate it. So many other have nothing, not even a home and even though I am struggling to pay my bills as a single mom, I am truly blessed for what I do have. We need to stop and realize that the homeless person on the street , could easily be us one day if we don't focus on our lives and goals and worry less about what we want and more about what we truly need. Like for instance today my co worker Sara and I were both sick, she looked like she was going to cry and I felt like it too and so I went over to her to hug her and we both felt a little relief. We were sick but sick together and it was nice to know that we were not alone, that we felt bad for one another. There was compassion there and that's what we all need these days to stay connected. We didn't exchange gifts, just hugs and maybe some germs,but we gained so much more. 

I want you all to take five minutes to STOP and BREATHE and FOCUS on what you do have in your life. Now I want you to THINK , who in your life do you see struggling, do you see needs a kind word? Yes, even words have the power to move us and set our life back on course again. It is the smallest gestures that stir our hearts and help us as humans to get through life. Not everyone has this in their life, but everyone needs it. So STOP and think who in your circles needs, help, encouragement, love? Then I want you to give that to them, for once let's stop thinking only of ourselves and think of someone else. You never know who's life you will change.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Refugees or potential threats..decisions, decisions

For any of you keeping up with the news lately know that we are in serious times. Our President and government are accepting what many like to call" refugees" into our country and the majority of "refugees" are being sent to Texas. In 2014 Texas had received more "refugees" from all over than any other state. This happens to make sense, since we are a large state, but ENOUGH already. Can we not see as a nation that WE are struggling here in our economy, that WE cannot even feed our people , yet WE are accepting more and more "refugees" on a daily babsis and promise to clothe, feed and support them? How? How are we as a nation going to do this when just in Texas alone in 2014 we had 19,177 persons homeless and 578,000 in the US on any given night. So what's another 10,000 huh Mr. President?

Did you know that six of the attackers in the Paris attack had ties to Syria? Yet, we keep taking in Syrians and mind you that these Syrian "refugees" are mostly men. Yes people the United Nations notes that 75% of them are men!!!!! What are we doing? Sleeping? Can you not see this is a subtle takeover? It starts with 10,000 then they come in droves. Where are the women and children? If they left them back home what kind of men are these? Not men I would want in my country. The best way to takeover a country is to overpopulate it and then bend it's laws to their will with threats of lawsuits if they can't exercise their rights to  Sharia Law. This is ridiculous!!!! We all have our right to exercise religious freedoms except when those rights advocate violence against women and murder. Like Aisha Duhlowa who was stoned to death at the age of 13 after being gang raped and accused of being promiscuous. Now I want you to read that article thoroughly and tell me if that was your daughter how would you feel? You need to think about it long and hard because when we become overpopulated with the Muslim community that enforce Sharia law that, will be our reality. We will be reduced to a third world country. I am not saying all Muslims are bad, I know some I also know that they have lived here their whole lives and follow our laws of the United States, humane laws by most standards and live in peace with us, however these people we are letting flood our country are mostly men with radical beliefs and it will only be a matter of time before we allow them to destroy our world.

States on board with not allowing anymore Syrians in are these as follows, Michigan, Texas, Alabama, Arkansas, Massachusetts, Indiana, Louisiana, Georgia, North and South Carolina and the list is growing. That is a lot of states by my count Mr President and sadly if this issue is pushed further I believe we will see riots here in the U.S. so bad it will make Ferguson look like field day at an elementary school. Hillary Clinton says that if elected she will continue to allow and encourage refugees from Syria and elsewhere into the U.S. That terrifies me and others and if we have learned anything from our past is that when we are scared of something we become a violent society. Violence is the way we respond by human nature to things we fear and this WILL get ugly. These ISIS terror groups are ruining it here for peaceful Muslims and now we are not sure who our enemies are so we respond with rightfully fear and hate. Unfortunately it is to all Muslims now, because we fear what we are unsure of. I pray that we stop this insanity and bring no more MEN from Syria into our country who to me look more like a war pack than refugees. Show me some scared women and children and maybe I would feel different but at the same time the radical Islamists are training their kids to kill us while we coddle ours. We teach tolerance and they teach hate. We are screwing our kids out of a country freedom, I'm not saying let's get redneck and teach them to kill them but I am saying teach them to be leary of all situations and to look at all aspects of a situation, not to hold their hand and coddle them as well.

At this point Mexican Americans and Mexican immigrants are the only solace we have for a brighter tomorrow, because when the radical Islamists come knocking at our door like they did in England demanding we change our lifestyle to fit their Koran ; the Mexican community will not take well to that. Catholicism is a way of life for them and they are the only ones that can populate as fast as Muslims. They are our last hope now I believe and I don't know about you but I'd rather be Catholic any day over the latter.
Before you judge me too harshly stop and think about the bigger picture people. Think what we want for our future generations. In closing I leave you with this picture and tell me...do they look harmless? They look desperate and desperation leads to destruction.



Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Unfortunately you can't upgrade to Windows 10...story of my life until now.

I am just gonna dive right in here and for any of you that truly know me, know that this isn't unusual. I am ..what some call a bit of a wildcard. I am unpredictable and at best semi crazy and God help the man that love me, for he must be a strong one.

So today I turned on the computer and decided to blog, between you and me I had a few glasses of wine and felt a little talkative, forgive the type O's... so here it goes.... I turned on the computer tonight and by turned on I mean I had to light flint to get this monstrosity to ignite! My computer is from the stone ages, now granted it does not run MS-DOS, ENIAC or use floppy disc's but it's not far off according to Bill Gates i/e Windows 10. So here I am sitting in front of my outdated computer and it is offering me a FREE upgrade to Windows 10! I am ecstatic ..I get to upgrade...yay me!!!! Until when I try to download it and I get a BIG , FAT , NO! No Mrs Popish you are sadly running a computer that cannot run nor handle Windows 10 because you acquired your terminal when Jesus was changing water into wine. Well it didn't say that but something to that effect, you get the picture.

Anyway this is generally the story of my life, 1 day to late to claim that coupon, a few numbers off the lotto jackpot, the one in 10 to have something horrific happen to them. You can imagine my concern when the Ebola outbreak happened. Ahem, anyways to get to the point GOD HATES ME or has a strong dislike for me. Perhaps I ransacked and pillaged villages ,taking lives and making orphans of small children or I invented the poison dart in another life. I don't know what it is but my number is always up in this life to have the shitacular luck, until this year.

 I met a guy. Now some of you are saying OMG I thought she was still married, let me tell you...NO! Thank God because I couldn't take another day of that shit. Anyways this guy,, he's the bees knees, awesome, spectacular and I do believe the love of my life. Sometimes God pushes you in new directions, puts you through hell, only to have you emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon and that's what happened here. I AM A BUTTERFLY and I am emerging from years of dormancy. I put MY life on the backburner for my ex , sacrificed my happiness, family and dreams for him and in return I received...nothing. One can only do that for so long before one says..FUCK THIS. Ten years I invested in  a sacrificial marriage and I never received any sacrifice in return. He had his dreams, his happiness and his life and I had shadows and darkness and sadness and finally ENOUGH! I will not be that person again, I will not sacrifice my beliefs, heart or life's journey to please another. Either we are compatible and you are with me or you're not. Fortunately with the man I found we are on the same page, he and I think alike in some ways and in others we don't but we always  have a middle ground. He is a blessing to me and I feel a deep connection to him and I am thankful.

So for life dealing me a shitty hand I say FU ;) cause that shit don't fly no more. I am taking charge of my life and refuse the shitty end of the deals now. Fate can go fuck it, I am my own master and I command my life...as YOU should yours.



Tuesday, December 1, 2015

10 signs you're a Texan woman

I thought today how different Texas and Southern women are from most and so I compiled a list of ten things that distinguish us from most women. So here it goes....you know you're a southerner when...

1. You say things like honey, sweetie, sweetheart, bless your heart, bless your pea pickin heart, he's dummer than a box of rocks, she's as common as cornbread, are you shitin me?... etc.

2. Your purse is bigger than your hairdo...you know to hold your gun. ;)

3. Camo and bling are two of your most favorite things, sometimes even combined. That is what we call a two fer. If you have camo and bling on, then you're on Texas Fleek..you are the shiznet.


4. You can sport the biggest ass mum to homecoming , seriously these things are so big they need their own zip code. Nothing under 5ft and 24" wide will do!


5. NASCAR is a big deal...Tony Stewart and Jeff Gordon are idols here.

6. You own at least one pair of boots, have blingy jeans, and gaudy jewelry usually in silver and  turquoise.The gaudier the better or more Texan you are.

7. Your hair looks like Flo from Mel's diner , yes sadly people the majority of us haven't evolved from this look, the bigger the hair the more Southern the woman. Same rule applies to men's belt buckles. (ahem) I mean I was at Billy Bob's a few months back and was shocked by the amount of peacocks walking around. It looked like a Southern Baptist convention...the only way you could find my short little ass in this field of dreams was if I jumped up and down with a flash light.

8. George Straight, Alan Jackson, Dwight Yokum, Hank Williams Jr and Brooks and Dunn are on your playlist on your ipod.


9. You are 5ft but drive a 20 ft tall truck and need a step ladder to climb in. The tires are bigger than you are.


and finally #10!!!

10. While most women carry their jackets or leashes,you carry a gun to walk your dogs, shop, run, well hell honey you just always carry a gun and you damn sure know how to use it.