Monday, October 12, 2015

THINGS NOT TO SAY TO DIVORCEES

Today at work we were having a discussion about divorce when a vender of our decided to chime in on the subject and then proceeded to tell me how he doesn't believe in it and that we as a society give up on marriage too easily. Amazingly, I bit my tongue and cheek and lip, trying to maintain professionalism until unexpectedly my assistant manager chimed in. She said" Have you ever been married?" To which his reply stuttering was " Uh uh uh ...no" Then she said "Well you just need to keep quiet then about things you obviously know nothing about" I was taken aback by this comment because she NEVER chimes in like that on personal matters. What she said to defend not only me but every woman in that room was for lack of a better word...awesome! I mean while I was getting belittled for my life choices she cut him off as she saw he was tearing me down unintentionally.

With that being said here are some things NOT to say to your divorcing or recently divorced friends:

1. Oh I'm so sorry

Really? No shit? You don't say? What exactly are you sorry about? The fact that you think I am lonely now or that I failed at marriage? Don't be sorry , it's like going to the gym to weigh yourself and finding out you lost about 235 lbs of dead weight.

2. Well you'll find someone else, you're still young. -_-

Wow! okay good cause I was totally freaking out about being alone for the rest of my life instead of freaking out about Oh I don't know...finances, divorce papers,the kids,.. . shit like that.

3.You guys seemed so happy, what happened?

Well let me tell you chicken puff, we were happy once upon a time, but then like SHIT happened and he and I could only fake so many smiles before either one  of us poisoned or shot the other.We became so good at this we could have had our own sitcom....the end.




What I'm getting at here is we all have our shit to deal with and people shouldn't judge you for it. You don't know my story and I don't know yours. If you don't believe in divorce that's fine but as for me with my first marriage I didn't think it sane to stay with a man who beat me and treated me like dog crap in front of my kid and I would encourage you as well, not to do the same.The second marriage ,well that's a whole other story and one I won't share at the moment. In short we all got baggage baby and some is a little lighter than others but there's always dirty laundry in it.




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