Tuesday, October 20, 2015

My life in a nutshell at the moment

Sometimes in life you just have to do things alone, tonight I feel alone but that's okay because it will pass. Sometimes we don't value the things that we have in life or sometimes we know what we have and we value it ,but it's just not right for us.  When you're alone in the dark crying it's okay this too will pass as does everything, it's just a fleeting. I literally walked away from everything ,everything that I've ever worked hard for in my life, the house the family, I walked away from it because I wasn't happy and you can have all the riches in the world and be surrounded by people who say they love you and still feel like there's more to life than what this is. He and I didn't get along there was no doubt about that ,but there are moments in time and you can climb the hill or the mountain you can do this, it's okay to be alone sometimes it's okay to cry; we need to feel the pain to make us human but it still hurts like hell doing it and it's something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Sometimes you can be loved by lots of people and still feel alone in the dark that's how I feel tonight alone, in the dark, sad and afraid. I'm afraid to live my life; I'm afraid to end up alone ;I'm afraid to end up with somebody and hate them or them hate me. I'm just afraid of life and I guess that's normal, I guess everyone goes through that.Tonight I put on a happy face for my best friend on her birthday so that she could be happy but inside I wasn't happy I was sad. I felt alone and angry and scared but I braved it out and put on a smile because just because my life is  undecided doesn't mean that she should suffer for it. Today is her day she's happy; she knows what she wants from her life she has a family and a house and everything is perfect in get life and that's good. Sometimes we suck it up for those we love and if I've learned anything from my life.   its that I'm tough and I can do this and I will do this and I will get through this and I don't need anyone to make me feel important I have to do this on my own but it's also really nice to be loved.

1 comment:

  1. You will be happy again.... content on your own. .. believe me girl. .. After my marriage of ten years and being divorced 7 years I have had my ups and downs too many times to count. .. know all about the crazy dating life and realize now to finally focus on makes me happy. ... I went through my happy being single phase...to my phase of looking for a father figure for my kids and that person to complete me. After all of this, I am just now focusing on makes me happy instead of being the people pleaser. ... better late than never. ... we all want to be loved but first we must love ourselves.... love ya girl!