Thursday, July 16, 2015

People You Encounter at the Gym

For all of us who belong to a gym and frequent it we all know to well the different individuals we encounter there. Some have a certain charm to them and well....some do not. I compiled a list of the different people you can almost be sure to encounter at any gym in America....hell I'm certain I fit at least one of these categories.

The Whiners/ complainers

These people are good people don't get me wrong but there really isn't a week that goes by that you don't hear about something they did weight lifting or exercising to hurt themselves. You are there trying to get your workout on and all you hear the whole time you are trying to work out is excuses for why they can't do something or crying about how someone told them not to do something and they did it anyway therefore injuring themselves. Seriously? Look after the second time being told you think that would be enough to learn but some never do. That brings me to the talkers.

The Talkers

These folks get more jaw time than cardio and they love to talk about themselves. I benched this or I did that etc.. etc.. You know them , we all do. Sometimes you just wished you had duct tape.

The Posers

These are the most annoying ones by far and let me enlighten you as to why. These people take up your stations sitting there on their ass at the leg press texting on the phone and facebooking , taking selfies of how hot they think they are only to photoshop it later to make themselves look like they've done something when in reality they are just taking up space. These are the people I want to flog as real lifters like me and my friends work hard for it and theses folks just get in the way.

The Pre Workout People

Oh yes we all know these people, they are the ones that are so excited...too excited to be there. Some have headphones in and sing out loud to themselves, some make loud grunting noises and drop the weights.(yes I see you..hello asshole) and some are running at an alarming rate on the treadmill or elliptical machine. These people (yes sometimes me) you should be afraid of, they aren't human they are machines and you should steer clear till they come down off their caffeinated high. 

The Anti Social or The Machines

They come in workout , go home, no nods, no waves, no talking.nada. They usually have earbuds in to drown out the chatter and to let people know I want to work out, don't talk to me. They usually have awesome bodies because they don't log a lot of jaw time. These are the powerhouses of the gym, these people don't bullshit and I love them for that. 

The Creepers

You know we've all seen em, they stare at you from across the room or watch you in the mirror when you're doing squats. Practically drooling on everything staring at you, fantasizing about weird shit with you in it. Avoid at all costs, stare back (this usually makes them uncomfortable), put someone else between you and them or sometimes you just have to kick them in the balls if they get handsy. I prefer the direct approach and knee the balls. 

The Unsubstantiated Trainer 

This is the girl or guy that looks like the last thing they lifted was a box of donuts but yet they are telling you the best leg day exercises to do that will give you results fast. Really ? When I encounter this person I want to laugh, I know I can lift way more than you and out run you any day of the week so why do you feel the need to give ME unsolicited advice? It's times like this you just smile and nod, say thanks and put the earbuds in and walk away , jog even. For God's sakes man RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!


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