Monday, May 25, 2015

Depression...no one wants to deal with it


How many of you look at me and think "Yeah, that girl looks depressed." Yeah, that's what I thought. No one "looks" like they suffer from it, we just do. It's a serious and debilitating disease of the mind, right up there with Bi-Polar disorder and both diseases do have medicine that you can take to calm the effects, although sometimes that doesn't help. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for years and every year I age it becomes harder to climb out of the hole. People that see me wouldn't guess that I take medication to try and stabilize myself ,they wouldn't see how truly broken I am inside , because people like me who suffer from it hide it with the biggest ,sweetest smile we can muster in an effort to pretend it's all ok. Mostly it's really no one's fault that we are sad, sometimes it a hormonal imbalance, sometimes it's stress, drugs or sometimes people do add to this depression. Try to limit your contact with those people that make you feel hopeless or sad.

We don't want to be labeled "emo" or "debbie downers" so we hide our feelings and bottle them up inside in an effort to "fit in" this only intensifies the anxiety however that boils within us until it spills out in the form of tears, withdrawal, anger and suicidal thoughts or actions. Most people have no idea we are sad because we are so good at faking it that no one is there to help us. We alienate ourselves and feel trapped in our feelings, alone and docile, because we have given up. We literally break our souls in pieces and it is very hard to glue them all back. We deem ourselves unlovable, bitchy, mean, unworthy of happiness. I have even had a few friends in recent years commit suicide out of the blue it seemed ,because they felt so alone in their sadness and despair ,even when surrounded by loved ones. I believe my mother suffers from this as well and I am currently trying to deal with it so it will not destroy her and those around her.So I am going to tell you some of the signs to look for, so that hopefully you can avoid a catastrophic event from occurring.

  • Alcoholism - Drinking more than usual ,excessively
  • Reckless behavior
  • Dramatic loss of Appetite or the opposite eating too much (emotional eating)
  • Anger, irritability , lashing out at loved ones
  • Lack of focus, memory loss, zoning out
  • Insomnia or sleeping too much , always tired after resting , lack of energy
  • Withdrawal, stop participating in daily activities, social gatherings hobbies etc..
  • Anxiety- secludes one self away to avoid social situations, loss of interest in hobbies,family members, spouses
 Seek help for them or yourself, remove yourself out of bad situations that can add more stress or anxiety to this. Above all I want you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are many people that suffer from this myself included ,but we can beat this and not become a slave to it. It is mind over matter and YOU DO MATTER. I am here for you if you need me and if for some reason you don't want to talk about it then go to your doctor and get the medication you need to help fight it before it consumes you or someone you know. God bless and good vibes your way. Namaste

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