Friday, February 13, 2015

Valentine's delivery hell

So today as you know is Friday the 13th and a big day for delivering flowers as tomorrow is February the 14th . So today me and a coworker headed out on delivery and our first stop ...a school.  We pull up to said school and she let's me out in the crosswalk where the cones are in front ,about halfway to the front door I hear a loud speaker (click)" this is the ft worth pd, floral delivery person will you pull up so I can write you a citation? " I slowly turn shaking my head in disbelief. ..this is our first delivery "are you fucking kidding me" Flys out of my mouth.  I look at chris and she is delightfully unaware that he is talking to her and in her own world. I then make frantic hand gestures to wave her over so he can ticket us. I am at this point after delivering flowers, making a mad dash to the van where officer Cruz is talking to her. I run up and jump in the van..(.probably not wise in hind site to run up on a cop) and say oh please officer Cruz don't ticket us we didn't know. Chris was talking to him to and explained she didn't know that we rarely deliver and he let us go with a warning. Bless you officer Cruz.
Our next stop was a house with an address we almost could not locate because it was an apartment behind the house.I knocked first on the next door neighbors where a pimply faced twilight loving teen answers with bed head hair and a red half face in a bad mood and says wrong house and slams the door. I go to the next door after a woman yells "I think that's my moms..she's in the back. I knock and I hear (bark bark bark) only it sounded  more like a mouse on fire than a dog. This old lady opens the door and this white ball of fluff some of you like to call a "poodle" aka furball jumps at me trying to attack my leg. My first instinct is to kick a field goal but instead I turn and the little beasty slides down my leg thanks to polyester blend and she grabs him. She says "oh he won't bite" I beg to differ mam I'm thinking since he just lunged his furry ass at me. She's signs the clipboard and I'm off to deliver more smiles to lazy ass people who should be working like me. So that's how my day started and it only progressed from there. So to you I say "Fuck Valentine's Day" and have a wonderful weekend.

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