Sunday, January 11, 2015

I am me and that's all I can ever me or leave me you decide

I have recently kinda had a I don't know for a better lack of the word "mid life crisis" epiphany. For the longest time I felt that I had to look a certain way, be the prettiest, skinniest, happiest person to belong and to be loved. That isn't the case though.
I spent countless hours and years even, trying to fit in and be liked and let me tell you that shit is EXHAUSTING!  I mean think about it....really think, you spend all your time putting on makeup, exercising, eating certain foods just to look a certain way that you think society accepts. It wasn't until recently when a very good friend told me that I was beautiful even if I didn't wear makeup because it's who I am on the inside that matters, that it really hit me. I AM ME...that's it that's all I'll ever be and if that isn't good enough for some people then they are not good enough for me. Yes, my husband tells me the same thing but it's just not the same since he married me and is obligated to say such things or by God he better!

Who is anyone to say what is beautiful and what isn't? I mean who died and made them Lord of the Realm? Society imposes this idea on us that we must be skinny, almost waif like, funny, beautiful with tons of makeup and super model smiles. Really? Well fuck you, I don't need to compete with anyone to be accepted. You either like someone or you don't, being something or someone we're not isn't going to make them like us for long.

In 2015 I refuse to be your sociological experiment! I will be me in all my loud mouth, no make up, whatever I want to wear glory. I will not fit into your little box that society has placed us in. No! I will be the rebel that I am and do what I want! So many young girl fall into step with the pressures that are placed on them by their friends and peers. You've seen them we all have with their fish faces and peace signs trying to fit in and be cool, hell I even do it. I'm not saying don't do it, I'm saying it's just another example of what's acceptable today. I work out now to be strong and fit cause it makes me feel empowered not because I feel like I need to look good for anyone but myself. I wear less make up now actually and I must say it makes me look younger (thank God) I am getting older. LOL I will do what makes me happy. SOmeone once told me recently that I am a bit wied for a girl because I read books and rarely watch television. I took it as a compliment because I don't want to be like other girls I want to be myself. I love books,  love music, I love art and learning new things. If that is not today's typical girl then I am okay with that.  So be yourself and be at peace. :)

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