Sunday, January 25, 2015

Bullying...end the cycle.

Bullying has been around forever, actually since the caveman days.Cavemen used to overpower the weaker ones all the time including their women. It is a negative force in our lives and unfortunately most everyone at some point in their lives has dealt with it. If you haven't then you may ask yourself if you were the bullier?

As you all know I am a small person and in being so I was constantly harassed most of my young adult life. Elementary was a nightmare, I mean it wasn't bad enough that I went to a predominantly Hispanic school where I being very Polish with pale skin, white/blonde hair and blue eyes had to try and "blend in" you had to also throw in the fact I was almost a midget. Needless to say I "fit in" about as well as the children of the corn did. With that being said you can imagine all that I endured. I was kicked, slapped, called names, spit on and assaulted on a weekly basis. My only solace was another friend of mine named Vanessa who towered over me and another small girl named Kelly and she for the most part did her best to watch out for us. In the end it made me a stronger person but I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

You see it's always the smaller, weaker, less popular people who are attacked. Sometimes it doesn't even matter if you were tall, if you were a big person they picked on you too likely or if you were different, marched to the beat of your own drum or had a learning disability, that's what made you a target. You see people and kids in general are cruel, they fear what they do not understand and in doing so they attack what isn't the "norm" to them. They were raised this way in most cases by parents who did the same to their playmates. A never ending cycle, but it needs to stop somewhere. We need to teach our children that this isn't acceptable and will not be tolerated.Most of us do teach them,but there will always be those parents who are too busy, tired, drunk or non exsistant to deal with their kids. That's where they fall through the cracks and some learn it from adults that do the same thing,adults that really never grew up. I've even worked with a few in my life.

I am not one to be passive and allow that to happen to my child. I do not want to advocate violence but I want her to create a defense for herself. I encouraged her growing up, told her she was smart, pretty, kind and when need be...tough.  I taught her not to pay attention to those kids that say those things because they are jealous and scared of her and that's why they taunt her. They are ignorant is what I told her,because they are too scared to try and get to know someone and instead just judge outright because it's easier than learning new things and talking to new people. You see kids that are bullied are the ones that will be something in this world, they will go out beyond their safe boundries and explore life,while the others will continue to look at people and take them for face value and never go anywhere because they were too afraid to try and get to know someone who could in fact benefit their life. The smartest people I know were concidered "geeks" in school and guess what? They are running their own buisnesses and are bosses and managers of those little piss ants that tormented them.

So if your kids are being bullied by another child, call your school and let them know the situation, schedule a meeting with the parents if you can to resolve it. It may not help ,but in the mean time continue to lift your child up. Tell them everyday how great they are, you will be amazed at what that will do for them, tell them the bullies are cowards and that's why they do it and that they should pity them because one day thay will be digging that ditch for them or cleaning their toilet. Bullies never win they only grow more and more pathetic and miserable. Remember some of the most famous people were  different in school and several stars like Whoopi Goldberg, Orlando Bloom, Robin Williams,Steven Spielberg , Cher and many others are dislexic and had learning dissabilities and were teased, but that didn't stop them. Be strong, be brave ,be beautiful!

*photo taken from Huffington Post

Sunday, January 11, 2015

I am me and that's all I can ever me or leave me you decide

I have recently kinda had a I don't know for a better lack of the word "mid life crisis" epiphany. For the longest time I felt that I had to look a certain way, be the prettiest, skinniest, happiest person to belong and to be loved. That isn't the case though.
I spent countless hours and years even, trying to fit in and be liked and let me tell you that shit is EXHAUSTING!  I mean think about it....really think, you spend all your time putting on makeup, exercising, eating certain foods just to look a certain way that you think society accepts. It wasn't until recently when a very good friend told me that I was beautiful even if I didn't wear makeup because it's who I am on the inside that matters, that it really hit me. I AM ME...that's it that's all I'll ever be and if that isn't good enough for some people then they are not good enough for me. Yes, my husband tells me the same thing but it's just not the same since he married me and is obligated to say such things or by God he better!

Who is anyone to say what is beautiful and what isn't? I mean who died and made them Lord of the Realm? Society imposes this idea on us that we must be skinny, almost waif like, funny, beautiful with tons of makeup and super model smiles. Really? Well fuck you, I don't need to compete with anyone to be accepted. You either like someone or you don't, being something or someone we're not isn't going to make them like us for long.

In 2015 I refuse to be your sociological experiment! I will be me in all my loud mouth, no make up, whatever I want to wear glory. I will not fit into your little box that society has placed us in. No! I will be the rebel that I am and do what I want! So many young girl fall into step with the pressures that are placed on them by their friends and peers. You've seen them we all have with their fish faces and peace signs trying to fit in and be cool, hell I even do it. I'm not saying don't do it, I'm saying it's just another example of what's acceptable today. I work out now to be strong and fit cause it makes me feel empowered not because I feel like I need to look good for anyone but myself. I wear less make up now actually and I must say it makes me look younger (thank God) I am getting older. LOL I will do what makes me happy. SOmeone once told me recently that I am a bit wied for a girl because I read books and rarely watch television. I took it as a compliment because I don't want to be like other girls I want to be myself. I love books,  love music, I love art and learning new things. If that is not today's typical girl then I am okay with that.  So be yourself and be at peace. :)

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Haters gonna hate

Well it has come to my attention that recently I have ruffled a few feathers with my readers. Well I am so sorry that you find yourself offended because of my posts. I had no idea that my blogs held such a tremendous impact on your life and I am terribly flattered by this,because if my writing effects your emotions in such a way then I am obviously getting through to people. I mean I must be doing an awesome job at this writing thing. If for some reason you find that I have got under your skin in  some way there is a simple solution...remove yourself. Yes a novel idea I know...just choose not to follow me or suck it up buttercup since I never wrote a blog about you to begin with but of course being the narcissistic person  you are I can see where you'd think it was all about you.So get over yourself and move on ,because I already have. Oh and hey here's this just for you my haters.✋

Marriage..not an easy road

Well tomorrow marks ten years of marriage for my husband and I and I have to say that I am shocked that we made it this long. I am not easy to live with ,this I know and neither is that man but together we are unstoppable.We have even had people close to us try and come between us but we worked through it and eliminated those negative people from our lives. You have to put each other first and everyone else second.

We get each other on another level, we say things to each other with our looks and words are not needed, we mesh. Now, this is not always the case and there are days we mesh like oil and water,like fire and ice. There are days when I want to hug him tightly, around the throat, with a rope.Thankfully I remind myself that orange isn't my color and stripes make me look fat, that usually helps. I count to ten as I walk away or I go pour me a glass of wine and then I don't care anymore.

This is what marriage is, it isn't rainbows and unicorns and sunshine and butterflies. It's hard work and wanting to kill each other sometimes. It's wondering at times if you love them still, yes that is normal. It is ups and downs, roller coaster rides and sometimes chaos, but then there are moments of peace. Times when you couldn't imagine yourself with anyone else and wonderful thoughts of the future together and your family.This is what makes the love worth it.

I am no expert at marriage at all, I am just going by experience and my trials. I urge you to work hard at it and never give up on it unless you are in an abusive relationship. I just know I am blessed to have this family and this man who shows me so much love. 

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Abuse...when is enough, enough?

I'd like to talk about domestic abuse. I know it's a touchy subject but one I believe needs to be addressed. Having been a victim of this myself at one point in my life I feel that any man who hits a woman is a coward and a poor excuse for a man indeed. I grew up in an environment where I witnessed domestic abuse at a young age. It then seemed to be just part of everyday life and so subconsciously became acceptable to me as an adult. I believe this because, as I grew up and married I chose a man with similar qualities of those I saw beat women. He was controlling and emotionally abusive and eventually physical.In between the abuse he showered me with love and gifts and promised it wouldn't happen again. It was only when he hit me in front of my child that enough was enough. I knew then and there it would never change and only become worse. I saved money and left six weeks later with the help of family and a very good friend, it was the worst and longest 9 years of my life.

I've seen people close to me suffer from this abuse as well and I can relate and I want to council them as how to get out of it and how important it is to do so especially when children are involved. Staying with that person because you feel the kids need both parents will not help. My daughter had one parent the first 5 years of her life and we were fine and she doesn't have to be subjected to the rage. Being a single parent doesn't effect you badly or make your kids any weaker, if anything it makes them stronger as well as you. It makes them smarter, they learn to not take abuse and that it will not be tolerated and that they are more than deserving of true love.

Now there are men in some rare cases that are abused and I say to you as well GET OUT! Do you not deserve the love of a good woman who will cherish you? Ladies, do you not deserve the love of a good man? I know it's hard and you're scared and you feel worthless or not good enough or even strong enough to make it on your own. I ask you to do this, close your eyes...picture your son with his wife and they are arguing, now picture your son hitting her repeatedly. How does that make you feel? Now picture your beautiful fragile daughter with her husband and the same scenario, him beating her until she begs for her mother or father to make him stop. How does that make you feel? It makes me cry and it pisses me off, they deserve better.

We need to stop the cycle people, and it starts with YOU! You can end this, you do not want your children thinking this is acceptable behavior. Why is it that we don't want to see our dogs fight another dog and we will separate them at all costs to avoid it,but we as humans subject ourselves to the same shit repeatedly? You are better than that, please I beg you to be a part of the solution and not the problem. End the cycle now before it's too late.

Footnote: These pictures are not mine I have no copyright to them they were taken from Google images.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

It's thatNew Year New Me Bullshit Again

Well ,it's that time of year when people start flooding the gym and driving die hard gym rats like me crazy. I know I should be a little more considerate but it's me guys..come on.What do you want from me?
I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and I understand everyone wants to be healthy,but who really dives into it is another matter. I see people in the gym like my friend Sueanne mentioned yesterday and I quote in their "shiny new athletic shoes" as well as their new spandex that they no doubt got for Christmas to help them on their new endeavor and I want to scream! I want to scream at that woman and man who didn't realize that spandex only looks good on certain people (and that's really after 100's of tedious hours of working out) and that they should put it back in the closet for later.
I want to get in that persons face at the gym who sits there on their phone Facebooking and texting while everyone else is waiting for that leg press and yell "move it or lose it buddy!
I feel the need to tell that overly zealous man who is moaning loudly and dropping weights with a loud thud only to proceed saying ARGH like an angry pirate, that it's really not necessary and that we all can clearly see he is working all his God like muscles in their entirety, so need to yell ASSHOLE! Seriously you're just disrupting my flow.

I want to tell those infants that came in in the spandex with their muscle head 19 year old boyfriends and that old guy with his kids who really are not supposed to be lifting weights that in front of the weight rack is not where you park your ass to socialize and hog it up. I swear I may "accidentally"drop my 20lb on your goddamn toes, then the only thing you'll be pressing is the call button at the hospital.

I know I should be more understanding considering I used to be one and everyone has a right to be a better them,but to people like me now; it's just pissing us off. You guys are taking up our regular time slot and let's face it 90% of you will no doubt disappear after about a month, of half ass trying feeling like a total failure. Now there are those few that like me came at least 4 times a week and gave it all they could and to those people I salute you! Way to go push forward and fight the good fight,but while you're doing that can you please get the hell outta my way so I can work on my glutes?

So we are all now anxiously awaiting for you "new years resolutioners"  Yes, we named move along and give up or find your niche in our gym but we were here first so find it in someone else's hour.LOL

Sex or lack there of...let's bring sexy back.

Well I want to first off thank all my loyal readers. I checked my stats today and I had more hits on my latest blog Male fellatio the taboo subject than on all my other posts! Which tells me I probably have more male readers and if I didn't then,well I do now. LOL Which brings me to this ......

SEX...Ooooo I said the naughty word and what is on most males minds at least 50% of the time. Actually though the average male and I use average loosely, thinks about sex about 19 times a day give or take according to a BBC study. Anyways back on point sex seems to be lacking in most relationships after about the first few years. Try being married 10 years or more and it dwindles even more so as family, work and bills stress us out to the point of fatigue. We become disinterested and sometimes resentful of our partners. So I am sending out a challenge. This challenge is between you and your partner, there's no need to post about it,but I challenge you to have sex at least once a day for the month of January. Yes, I said 30 days of sex! OMG I know women everywhere are shitting bricks, men are applauding and I'm sure I'll receive some hate mail from this.I am challenging you anyway, starting tonight. I understand I'm a little late in the year to issue this challenge so ladies you have 28 days and men it's actually not 28 days if you subtract their cycle. Unless you're into that kinda thing and well then, all the best to you.

The reason I'm issuing this challenge is because I see many couples including myself that don't make it a priority in their lives and that leaves room for chaos and stress. I myself have already taken this challenge and will do my best to keep up with it. I understand ladies that it's hard to "get in the mood" as you sit across from them staring at them while they pick their noses and scratch their asses, burp, fart and well all the other gross things they do,but what about us? I know they watch us cut our toenails, discard our feminine products and eat like pigs during our cycle and yes we even fart ladies.
I'm asking you to both put all that aside shave and trim for your partner, wear cologne or perfume, make yourself presentable like you were going on a date and treat them like it's your first time together. This isn't just for women to plan guys, you have to do your part too. Explore and tease each other, make them feel sexy and you'd be surprised what response you get.

Sex is healthy for us and releases stress, cures headaches and other ailments. It is a natural medicine for the mind, body and spirit. Why not take advantage of it? We need to put some spice into our lives sometimes and is the chance to do just that! It's a new year and you only get one life to live so LIVE it! Do some role playing (very fun) , sexting, send some naughty pics to each other (be careful), surprise them with a romantic evening...ditch the kids and let loose. Use your imagination and enjoy each other because there was once something at one time you fell in love with in that person, why not try to connect to it again?

Just for fun here's a cool link guys to get your fun on. Position Master

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Male fellatio the taboo subject and what we close our eyes to....yes I went there

So welcome to a brand new year! What better way to start it off than a new blog about one of life's taboo subjects...blow jobs.Yes, I did go there and let me tell you why. I have spoke to many women friends and several I know do not like to give blow jobs. As a woman I had a hard time understanding this, I mean they are fun and apparently now good for your health. I happened upon a page called Red Silk and on it there are several subjects that are considered taboo about sex one is about blow jobs. If you get a chance stop on by and visit it.

Did you know that semen contains many health benefits, it has melatonin and serotonin and cortisol that help fight stress and help aid in sleep. It is apparently also good for your skin as well like a facial yes I said facial!
So why wouldn't women naturally want to do this? Well some just think it's gross, yes I admit the stuff is a little sticky and not always tastes the best at times but did you know that if your partner drinks pineapple juice about an hour before hand it will take on a sweet taste. If your partner uses drugs or smokes weed though it will taste bitter and a bit nasty. Beer though gives it a sweeter taste depending on the beer. IPA'S probably not a sweetener for this as they are naturally bitter a bit. Also have some fun with it; purchase some flavored lube and have at it. My favorite is banana split and hot buttered rum.

If spouses catered to each others sexual needs more then it could help to strengthen the bond and keep potential "problems" out of their marriage. I have seen too many women and men complain about their partners lack of interest in exploration or sex.That's when you can open a door to potentially cheating on one another. Too many relationships end like this so I encourage both men and women to expand your mind and listen to your partners wants and needs before someone else does.

We tend to look at oral sex as more of a chore than fun and an opportunity to grow closer to our loved one. There is something very intimate about the act of oral, it creates and bond between people. You have to let down your defenses and show someone the real us and that can be hard. You can be married to someone for years and still may never know them intimately , know their deepest darkest desires out of fear of rejection or judgement. The person you have sex with should be someone you can share these desires with and trust.Hopefully they will try some out with you, but if not at least try oral as a release. I mean how do you know you don't like it if you won't attempt it?  So ladies get your flavors out and have some fun and remember's not a one way street. Pleasure goes both ways :)

Here is a link to a great site on tips to give good head