Sunday, December 28, 2014

Not really in love but the idea of love



I was listening to a song this evening by Justin Bieber, yeah I know fucked up but still listen to the words;and as I was sitting there my thoughts drifted to all the different relationships I had in my life. Yes it was a short list and full of douche bags, but all necessary douches. Why do I refer to them as douches? Well that's simple they cleansed my system of ever considering dating them or anyone like them again.....I.e douches

I was in one that was abusive both physically and verbally, that constantly put me down and even to this day I have low self esteem at times because of it. I was in love with or thought I was with one that had drug problems all the while I tried to fix him only to realize that I became broke in the process and had to walk away for my sanity, one that used me for his personal entertainment and tossed me like yesterdays news when his needs were fulfilled ,but had me addicted to him in some strange way because he made me feel beautiful; although that ship finally sailed thank God. Finally I met my husband now and realized just how many losers there are out there and sometimes you have to go through a few frogs to get to the prince.

Come on girls and guys we've all had those people in our lives,the ones you just can't seem to shake, the ones that melt your heart at first with those butterflies or the ones you realized you accidentally fell in love with all the while saying "oh shit" because you know it's going to end badly for you, but we stay and put up with the abuse and neglect only to be let down again and again.

But you know what? THOSE PEOPLE WERE NECESSARY! Yes, I know it sounds crazy but it's true.The universe or God whichever you believe in put those people in your path, in your life for a reason. As completely fucked up as that is, it's totally true. Those people crossed our paths because we needed to learn a lesson from them.Really sit there and think about it. One taught me that I will not put up with abuse, the other taught me I have no room for drugs in my life or my childs life, one taught me that I am more than just your toy to play with my emotions as you feel, that I AM MORE and that HE was less and didn't deserve me and so I could move on.

It makes us stronger and though we may have believed we were in love with these people mostly we were in love with the idea of being loved. when they couldn't give us that ,we eventually moved on and in future relationships if we're smart we could pick up on the subtle hints or "red flags" that we had in previous relationships so that we can steer clear of them.Remember that we are human and we only grow by learning. So I will leave you with this one of my favorite authors famous quote: "Experience is the name we give our mistakes" -Oscar Wilde


Footnote: At the top of the screen you can disable the song bar or pause it so that you can hear this video. :)

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Bittersweet. ..pain is in the air

It's the holidays and I find myself drifting off in daydreams of silly things. It's a beautiful season , one of peace and love and giving. It is also the saddest time of year for me and likely my sister.

It is the time of year when we miss our loved ones and  cry and mope wishing they could be with us. Some of us can but others are on a journey so far from our reach that all we can do is look up at the stars and wonder where they are.

Today for instance I was looking at a picture of my grandfather and I started to cry. I miss his guidance and wisdom and his reassurance in my life. He was always there for me and when things got rough he would go to Jack in the Box and get me a taco. Lol, it helped me feel better oddly enough. It went something like this
You're splitting up with your husband = here have a taco.
You're late paying rent..it's OK= here have a taco.
You're getting a divorce now...here have a few tacos.
Life's problems solved with tacos. He was a wise man.
There is always that one person you can count on that is there for you no matter what. The one that when your world crumbles like a cheesecake,picks up the crumbs and pats it all back together again. The one who it's OK to fall apart around and when you do they bring you chocolate and a beer😉 and are just like family if they already aren't.

Family is important, it's good to have a support system for yourself and family isn't always blood. What this season does it brings families together,so go out this season to your parties and be thankful for the family and friends you have, because tomorrow isn't promised.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Remember the reason behind the season

As I was shopping today for groceries I stumbled upon a homeless man sitting there minding his business and eating something someone had got him. I sat there in my car a minute and really tried to put myself in his place. Thinking how hard it must be to be in that position where you have to rely on everyone to provide for you as you are homeless and unable to provide for yourself. He was partially blind and worn down, old enough to be my father and I wondered at what point did his life go wrong?

It's times like this I am thankful that I have what I have. We all too often go through life always wanting more and unaware of what we really truly have. We only realize it sometimes when it's too late and what we had is gone.

This season I ask that you think of others that are less fortunate. If you see someone struggling, help them if you can. Whether it's a dollar or donated clothes or something you know they can use that you don't. Give this season not just to family.

I happened to give a woman I knew a coat I was given and never wore. When I  did this her face lit up. I was surprised I mean to me it was just a coat but to her it was more.I didn't know that she only had one coat and it never occurred to me that she had been wearing that same old coat for the last 4 years I knew her. She couldn't afford another decent coat and so this made her day. People don't have to be homeless to be in need they may only be one step away from it and we never realize.
So this season remember Jesus is the reason for the season and his message is to love one another and be kind. Happy Holidays and don't look down on someone because they have less because in their heart they may actually have more.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Is it just me or is Elf on a Shelf creepy as fuck?

Ok it's that time of year again and we are now bombarded by elves on a shelf. I think he can be pretty hilarious and also pretty fucking creepy. I mean if I was a kid and I woke up everyday seeing a creepy little elf in different places I'd have a fucking nightmare.  Haven't yall seen Chucky? Wasn't that enough to scare the shit out of every kid in America? I must admit though as an "adult" and I use that term very loosely I also find it pretty hilarious. So with that being said here are some of my favorite elf on a shelf ideas. I may even go buy one just for shits and giggles.