Monday, October 13, 2014

Going bat shit crazy

Well I am going on my second week of recovery and I am losing it. I can literally feel my life force being drained from me. I am so bored here in this house and going stir crazy. You see I am A D D and we can only sit still for so long. Vacation days mean time I have to figure out shit to do so I don't murder my family. Although that would be something to figure out when on a vacation.Hmm? No, anyways I just cannot deal with down time. 

I sit here watching Netflix day after day and I can assure you I have seen every scary movie worth seeing on there,The best by far is The Ward, I can also tell you how many cracks are in my walls, how many times you can crank call your old job before the receptionist threatens to call the cops (eight for the record) and how many times you can get your dog to chase a laser light before he just passes out. See really I am in all certainty going a bit bananas lately.


How do housewives do it? What do they do all day? I mean there are only so many times I can clean this house especially when recovering from surgery. I have even started dressing the dogs up and putting on Puppy time theater just to entertain myself. Aside from dressing the dogs in drag I may start to make sock puppets and charge the after school crowd a fee to watch as they loom outside my house to pick up their ungrateful heathens. I bet that will get rid of them or at least deter them for a bit. I may even do this in a robe and curlers and grab my neighbors cat to join in the fun while stand out side exclaiming come one come all for The Jones's after school Theater. Although thinking about this further may only get the cops called on me and land me in jail as a register pedo and then I will no longer be able to attend Chuck E Cheese parties with my grandchildren.

As you can see I definitely need to go back to work or find more stuff to occupy my mind that won't land me a show on Springer. Well tomorrow I go for my follow up and then hopefully back to the real world. Otherwise I may end up in a padded cell. : / 


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