Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Even some animals eat their young

Ok I was awaken at 6:30 a.m. today by my teen who was supposed to have a ride to track this morning. I am still recovering from surgery and still on the reclining couch and unable to drive as of yet. My dear husband is just waking up to get ready for the day and this is the setting this morning in the Jones House. 
So she comes to me in a panic "Mom , mom my friend can't take me to track she ran out of gas." Well obviously giving her gas money at this time is pointless since she's empty already -_-  so I say hold on let me see if I can get you a ride?  Searching to see if my next door neighbor left and yep she has so then I say let me check my friend down the street.My daughter says then" Just let me take the car to school. " Crying and whining to me almost in a five year old tantrum. I bristle at the thought and say to her "Hell No! We are not having this conversation again at 6:30 in the morning! "Absolutely not I don't know about you guys but I don't feel at this point in my life that I feel comfortable with sending a pissed off ,late teenager with no license to school in my car that hasn't been paid off yet. Call me crazy but I'm making a judgment call here. So I procure a ride for her from my neighbor down the street  ( God  love her) and tell my child to be ready to go. She then whines again "I'm not ready!" Well why the fuck did you just come in here crying to me like you were? I yell at her to "Get ready now! It's  too early in the morning to test mommy's patience without my coffee Nicole unless you like your mommy in and orange jumpsuit and orange isn't the new black! "she then scrambles to get her shit together. 
 Then I realized my husband  is ready and fixing to leave so I say he can get you there in time and cancel her ride with my neighbor and again God love her for having the patience to deal with me this morning as well because she is almost my carbon copy in the personality department and I know her patience must be wearing thin today. We both know prison orange isn't a good look for us imps and we don't like tacos that much either we prefer sausage. I mean she is Cajun but that's neither here nor there. 
Anyways where was I ? OH YES ,back to the ungrateful one. Yes that is her nickname now ungrateful one or demon spawn; the jury is still out on that because I'm not entirely sure that 16 years ago when I passed out on that bottle of wine in my drunken stooper, if it was in fact my ex husband who knocked me up or the anti Christ, but for any of you who knew him (meh) same thing.
Anyways she now proclaims she has a ride with "said girl" who ran out of gas. Really?  What did she do, get on a magic carpet and fly over here? Did she magically fill up her tank or did she ever run out of gas at all? My child then walks out the door before I can say anything and out to the car where they drive off. I am livid at this point and tell my husband to never mind the ride it took care of itself. I then go get me a cup of coffee and pop another pain pill and sit  and ponder how I will punish her when she gets home for that little scene. You can get pretty creative when on drugs..just sayn.

I swear she should have been in drama or theater with the acts she puts on here. She is driving  me to the brink of murder and you know I do work in a funeral home things can be arranged.  Teenagers were developed by God to remind us of our humanity and test our patience but even some animals eat their young. Any of you out there that say "Oh not my baby ;my baby is sweet." Ha! Fools I say,you have been deceived, manipulated, lied to. The ones that act like angels are the worst. Trust me I know, they are they ones sneaking out at night doing God knows what with God knows who all the while you have no clue. If they aren't and they are really just sitting at home behind a computer desk be wary then they are surely plotting their revenge on what nursing home or attic to store you in the first chance they get; or they could be future serial killers. I don't know about you but I'd start watching to see if animals go missing, they could be sacrificing them to Satan to exact their revenge on you.
All in all teenagers are terrible so I say to all you mothers and fathers out there with pre teens this , enjoy it while it lasts those angels grow up to be demons soon. Good luck and God speed. 
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