Thursday, August 28, 2014

If you have less sometimes you give more

I saw a video today that touched and inspired me to write about homelessness in our own neighborhoods. In this video these guys were doing a  project where they went around asking people for food and you would be surprised who gave.
That also brought to my attention the statistics in my area of homeless during these hard times. What people don't understand is that it could be any one of us this happens to. You don't have to be a drug addict or a drunk to be homeless or even lazy. All you have to do is lose your job and the rest takes care of itself. Did you know that in Tarrant county this year there were 694 children that are homeless? Total homeless in Tarrant are 2,425 and counting with each passing day and of those  23% are from domestic violence. Only 10% are veterans since we have the wounded warrior projects I'm sure that helps to keep them off the streets but not everyone has that benefit program. It is a 1.6 % increase since 2013 but in 2013 it was up 10% from 2012. The facts are times are getting harder and families have no where to turn but shelters if they are lucky. Did you know that most shelters charge you per day per person? If you are homeless where are you supposed to get the money to do this? 
Did you think about the hard winters here or even the 100 degree summers? These people, these humans; are out in this weather with no food ,no water but you're worried about your dogs and cats in this? Truth is we are becoming less and less human every day. We are not considering these peoples circumstances in life and what brought them to this place. Is this what God would want from us? To turn a blind eye to them? If you don't believe in God then is this what it is to be human? To only think of ourselves? If you believe in karma then ponder could be you one day or your kids future if you turn your back on someone in need. 
I am writing this from personal experiences not just talking out my ass. I have had family that has been homeless by the choices they made in life, but do they not deserve compassion? Do we not all deserve that? If life has taught me anything it is this. We all make choices in life, some not so good but I learned not to judge people based off those choices. I learned to offer them love and kindness because that is what I would want  someone to offer me. If we are anything let us be what we were intended to be and that is human. In the Merriam Webster dictionary it states and I quote:


 noun \hyü-ˈma-nə-tē, yü-\
: the quality or state of being human
: the quality or state of being kind to other people or to animals
: all people

Please think about this in the upcoming months of winter. I encourage you, no I implore you to give not just to charities but if you see someone on the street buy them a meal, take them an old blanket. Something to help them get through their day. What do you have to lose? Ah but think what you have to gain. :)

Now I leave you with this

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Pie and relationships

As I was shopping today in Albertsons I passed the dessert isle. They had a wide array of desserts to choose from but I was particularly interested in chocolate pie today so I bought one. Oh sure they had Raspberry , Cherry, Blueberry and of course America's favorite good ol reliable Apple. Although I didn't want those;today I wanted chocolate and by God I would have it.Every once in a while you want something different.
So there I am driving home excited about my decision ,even euphoric over the thought of how good it's going to be when I get home. I had been craving chocolate for a while and built it up so much in my head about how deliciously awesome it was going to be. So I get home and first thing I do is bite into it. Instantly I was let down. I imagined this pie being so epic, so mouth watering good that when I bit into it and let it roll around on my pallet a bit; I was a  little disappointed. You see I built this pie up in my mind so much to be something it wasn't that when I sampled it; I let myself down because I let my imagination get carried away with me.

We do this with people and relationships as well. We build them up so much, make them out to be more than they are; that when we get a taste of the real thing we are quite often disappointed, let down, heartbroken. We want to be happy so badly, we want to find our match ,our other half so much; that we just take( in so many words) our plain simple apple pie and make it Tiramisu. To everyone else it's apple pie but to us it's so much more until we taste it. Then when it's already too late we realize the mistake we made and we realize that there's really nothing wrong with "apple pie". I mean really apple pie is the shiz, but occasionally we tire of it and we want Tiramisu. 

We want that fantasy of the perfect relationship or person,but guess what. They or it does not exist and anyone selling you the bullshit that it does is the biggest ass faker there is. I have seen those people and I have been those people and guess what we are lying out our fucking teeth. Things aren't always perfect , people should know this before entering a relationship or eluding themselves. You may go in thinking your apple,cherry,blueberry pie is the best tasting fucking pie out there until it gets stale.And that my friends is when you're fucked. My suggestion put some whip cream on that shit and close your eyes and imagine Tiramisu cause guess what people; every pie gets stale and dries out eventually it's up to you to make it awesome or go get you a new pie but that one will get stale too. In short relationships are a lot like pie relationships and life are what we make it, we only get one shot..try not to fuck it up will ya?

Monday, August 18, 2014

My hero, my inspiration, my brother

As many of you know already my brother was in a motorcycle accident.  The one day he wasn't wearing his helmet and he could have died. Instead he walked away with severe road rash  , a concussion and no broken bones. By the grace of God himself and those spirits that watch over us; he survived.
He is currently in the hospital receiving multiple surgeries to graph skin onto him again.  He is going though this all with the most positive attitude. He hasn't complained one bit through this and his outlook on this is amazing.  He is a ray of light in a dark tunnel and nothing will bring him down.

He is my inspiration; I aspire to be like him. I have known Derek since we were in 6th grade. When I first met him he wanted to be my friend almost instantly.  He followed me around school and always was helpful and kind. This is who he is; this is my brother.  I being the child I was didn't think he was cool at the time but he grew on me. Keep in mind I came from a gangster background so this little white kid trying to be my bff was an adjustment.
Anyways when some time went by he told people we were cousins. Then he fixed his dad up with my mom and said "Hey, now we're brother and sister! " He was always looking for a way for us to be related and he found it. I don't know why he loves me so but he does. He gives me way to much credit for being an awesome sister but I'm so glad he's apart of my life and that he allowed me to be apart of his. He is my mentor and motivates me to be a better me.He is my brother and I love him more than words. I'm so glad he's ok because the mere thought that I had lost him broje my heart into a thousand pieces of which I could never piece back. Thank you God or whatever higher power saved him that day; because I could not imagine a world without him in it.
Enjoy those small, delicate, beautiful, precious moments because they are like snowflakes on a warm sidewalk; they are there in front of you and just as quickly gone.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

When mom said get a hobby I'm sure she didn't mean this

Well people today we are going to talk about our children growing up in today's world. Now these kids today have it made and haven't the slightest clue. While they sit submerged in thier video games, Facebook, Xbox , cell phones and laptops they have no idea about want. When you want for nothing you get bored and when you get bored you do stupid shit like this.

Um, Hey kid did you know that your crotch is on fire? Guess you won't be needing that later?
These  kids are crazy. I mean seriously what the fuck are you thinking? Is there not enough games to play or can't you just be like normal kids and go vandalize something? No you have to play Superman bad ass,; except you're A. not a bad ass and B. not Superman. 

What is wrong with our kids is that they are so desensitized by the electronics and violence in media that they want to feel a rush of excitement and this is how they feel something again. This is our fault as parents, as a society as humans. We have failed them, we have made life to easy and made media to accessible to them. They get to see violence every time we turn around on t.v, in video games and now ther have become desensitized to it. We have failed them and we need to do something about this because if we don't these will be the same stupid ass kids running our country when we're retired. I know for a fact that I don't want that but do you?

Monday, August 11, 2014

Depression and Suicide a loved one's guide to learn the signs

The title above is obviously not true as anyone can be depressed and suicidal and you'd never know.
They can be your wife, best friend, lover, brother,sister, anyone you love and are close to and you'd never know. You'd never know because they are so good at hiding it.
Today Robin Williams took his life. One of the greatest comedians I know , that the world knew and he's gone forever.It's really quite sad  if you think about it ;here the funniest ; seemingly happiest personality and no one knew how sad he really was until it was too late.

That's the thing with depression, no one really knows how sad you really are. It claims you without notice, it swallows your world and before you know it,sadness is all you feel. You forget what love feels like or happiness and you doubt whether it really ever existed. You question everything and wonder what's wrong with you, why is this happening, when did it start? You're lost in your own hell and no matter how hard you climb out or try something always pulls you back down. You look for attention or acceptance where ever you can to null the sadness or forget about it for just a while,but nothing works. Sometimes it's almost impossible to get up and start your day when you really want to sit and cry.


 If you're good you can hide it behind a beautifully deceiving smile. You can fool everyone into thinking everything is fine and life is great when all the while you feel your whole world crumbling. Truly depressed people do not let people in to allow them a glimpse of this. It's like a secret no one needs to know. They feel like there is no one they can talk to that can possibly understand what they are going through. They are right no one can, but they can relate. Everyone has their own struggles ; some are just harder for others. Some are not as strong or are exhausted with the fake ,happy life they have created just so everyone else can feel comfortable around them; so they give in and let go. Can you blame them?Wouldn't you get tired of fighting a battle everyday you feel you couldn't win?

Some say it's selfish or it's the cowards way out. Well to those people I say this. Selfish this is not, they simply are tired of putting on an act to make sure their friends and loved ones don't worry about them and their problems. To do this requires a lot of strength just to fit in or try; and is very selfless to me as they are putting everyone else's feeling ahead of theirs until they decide to think about them selves for once. Cowards, they are not for they put on a brave face everyday to face a world they want to hide from. They would much rather crawl into a bed and let it swallow them than deal with life. Instead they get up, go to work and function as a normal adult as best they can. That to me isn't a coward it just makes them tired and worn out and ready to move on.

To sum this up enjoy the people around you ; make time for them, listen to them and love them with every breath. You never know when it will be your last moment with them and if you just sit show them love and listen you could save them and not even know it. So to you I say quit being selfish and make time for people you feel need it because chances are they really do.

As for Robin Williams rest in peace my friend. You will be dearly missed as your laughter filled so many of our homes and was contagious. God speed

Follow up of Love sex and Fairytales

I saw this article today on Facebook and haha it reaffirms what I'm saying.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Love, Sex and Fairytales

Today I was talking to a friend about ; well sex, love and fairy tales actually. We were talking about basically how they seem to make little girls believe that there is some magical Prince Charming that's going to come in and sweep her off her feet; or at least they did when we were kids.That could be possibly why over 50% of marriages end in divorce today. Because we expect too much from these guys. I mean seriously look at Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, The Princess and the Frog ; hell even Lady and the Tramp! They all say that some guy will rescue us or do they?

So let's read between the lines here ladies. If your guy can't remember your face after the first date and he has to go try a shoe on every bitch in the kingdom just to find his "true love";there may be a problem.Possibly he inhaled too much Fairy Dust?

 Snow White for instance met the guy once as well and sang him a song and he was magically in love and ready to rescue her from an evil step mother? Damn who was she? Beyonce? This guy was obviously desperate I mean he had to choose between a wicked queen who was pretty with makeup but damn when the lights went out she was a hag or a pale ass white girl who couldn't swallow.

Sleeping Beauty meets a strange guy in the forest. Now I don't know about you ladies but if I was in a dark forest I don't think I'd be talking to a strange guy.I mean I just want to get to my car without being confronted by a random dude. I think that also begs the question ;were we saying it's ok to talk to strangers? STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER!!!

The Princess and The Frog, well well well let's just say she had a bestiality fetish and ummm probably contracted warts after that, if ya know what I mean. LOL  There is no Prince I kissed a lot of frogs and still no prince! However I did get a treckie and that's as close as ya get ,but that's another story. ;)

Lady and the Tramp? My fav, the moral of this story is pretty self explanitory in the title. She's a lady, he's a Tramp who sluts around takes advantage of her and knocks his bitch up, then she has to fight off( well the picture above explains it pretty much) just to raise her family in peace after he says he's going to straighten up, but we all know a tramps a tramp.

So it's not hard to see why we have no more faith in love when little girls can't read between the lines and then we grow up to expect someone to save us from ourselves. It taught us that we always needed someone to fix us or make us complete. When in reality we just need to get our shit together and be awesome independent women, who don't need a man but it would be nice to have one in our lives.

That leads us to the sex part. When we expect a man to be so much well he's gonna fall short in that department as well since we expect him to be superman and what not. So that leads me to conclude that fairy tales suck it! That's just it they are tales, nothing more and nothing less and if you find that perfectly flawless individual, please capture him so we can study him or lay off the shrooms please.

Foot note: I am however happy about the new Disney movies empowering  young girls if only religious groups could quit deeming them lesbians. Geeze

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Demons in me

It's no secret that I'm a drinker. That's what I do, I love alcohol, except when it turns me into someone I loathe and that's just what it did . I did something to someone, actually a few people that I can never take back and I've done it before and it's destroying people I love and that's never a good thing.

You see I grew up in an abusive alcoholic household. It wasn't the easiest life but it was familiar to me so I never felt it a big deal until it started affecting my life and those around me.  I thought I could handle drinking and I was wrong, so wrong. I grew up seeing my mom abuse it and my step father for the first half of my childhood. There were fights and yelling , it was a bit hectic until she got pregnant with my sister. Then it calmed down, she stopped drinking and so did he to make a better life for their daughter. Sometimes I'm bitter about that because there was no regard  for me or my feelings. No one said gee how will this affect Michele? 
So when I grew up I swore that I wouldn't become that person; until I did. Before I knew it I was out partying with friends and drinking in bars alone,drowning my sorrows. It wasn't the best thing to do but it killed the pain for a while until something in me changed and I became  this angry drunk. This for lack of a better word MONSTER.

 I did things I normally wouldn't do and didn't remember doing. I was hateful to people I love and may have even lost some people I love because of the way I have been. I can't risk anymore heartache or loss. I cannot justify being an asshole because I drink, I have demons that I need to deal with and alcohol has proven that. In short I need to stop,so that's what I'm going to do. No more hurting myself and others, no more dealing with my problems this way. Time to grow up and be an adult. To those of you I have hurt, those I have wronged or judged. I am truly sorry and though no amount of apologies can make up for it, I can at least change myself. I am better than this, I can be more. This will not be my legacy.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Love is all we really want

I was at my local gym the other day and as I was on the elliptical machine I was staring out the huge glass window out toward the lawn.I saw a family meet another family and in greetings the children about 6 or 7 seemed so happy to see this one little girl and grabbed her up and swung her around smiling and laughing. They seemed so excited to see her and there was so much love there, it almost made me cry. For those of you that truly know me,know that's easy to do,make me cry that is. I am an emotional creature I admit.
What I'm getting at is seeing that moment, touched me somewhere inside and it reminded me of that little girl in me that just wanted to fit in, be appreciated and be loved. After all isn't that what we all want, to be loved?

As adults nothing changes,we still want to be accepted and loved. The fear of rejection always lingering in the back of our minds. We carry this on through college and the working world, desperately trying to fit in and be part of something bigger than ourselves. Searching for the one person that will understand us ,that we can connect to, the one that gets us and accepts us. Some of us will never find them and sometimes it bleeds over into our love life. That fear of rejection or criticism it can ruin us. 

Next time you go out on a date for the first time with someone , know they are just as scared as you to be rejected and unloved. When you see someone crying or upset stop and talk to them. Make time for people and even if you don't know them, then try and get to. Everyone needs a friend, everyone needs someone to connect to and talk to. Do this and I guarantee you'll be a happier person and so will they. We all need to just stop, put down the technology, look around you and take in your surroundings.Take a deep breath and see the beauty around you. Reach out to that person that needs you and remember your childhood innocence. When you didn't look at someones color or religion or sexual preference. When what you saw was their soul and their smiling face. We all need to remember there's a child inside of us and we need to embrace that, it will make us a better and younger person. Remember that all we really want is to be loved.